When people see me on a computer screen, they see the joy and happiness resonating from my face. I keep the inner secrets of my past, the desires of my present, and the hopes for my future to myself. I’ve never been an open person and even the people close to me at home don’t see what is pressing at my mind. I have severe anxiety and it does lead to depression, but I’m not diving into that subject with this post. It’ll have to wait because right now, I want people to know the real me… The true me.
I have fans and readers that love my dark erotic reads, but do they really know the toxicity bubbling deep within me? Do they know what’s really festering in that place making my insides bleed? Probably not, but I figure it’s time to reveal everything in a blog. I’ve had this damn thing open for months, but I’ve never had any drive to post anything. Want to know why? The world sees what it wants to see. I’m a mere fraction of the puzzle that may not seem significant at first until I’m forgotten. A puzzle can reveal a beautiful picture without every piece, so why should reveal myself? Well, maybe you’ll enjoy what you read, or see.
If you don’t know me, I’m constantly hurting. The fire swells in my chest everyday, and I continue to work until my fingers bleed. My scars fade across my heart, but it’s not like I let them consume me. I’ve been hurt multiple times, sometimes causing me to skip a beat. There might not be a special place for me in this world, but I’ve created my own circle. The one which I can be my true identity.
The problem I had for six year is the fact I lost my identity. I didn’t know who the fuck I was anymore. There was the assistant manager position that paid extremely well. It made me extremely comfortable and satisfied my binge to buy every fucking thing. The problem is you can’t have everything without being able to share of piece of it with someone. Hell, what’s the point in that. When I left my job, I did it for love and the desire to build something I dreamt of my whole life. Did any of it work? Well, in some ways yes and others no. I’ve learned my place in this world, and no one will understand my ways. No one will soak in the ideas I have to build a future for myself.
Yeah, I think it’s time to let you in. I may be an author and look happy on screen but wait until I reveal what’s really tearing away inside. Wait until you discover, the real Adam Reese…